sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
