I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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