if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
