Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
