I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
