I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
