who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They have beer where we have blood.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
