after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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