oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
