whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
