JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
