dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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