yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
