they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
