don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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