Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
