After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Less talking, more tequila
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
