this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
