This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
