i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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