haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i came on her dog
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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