Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
