A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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