Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
