you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
