In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
