He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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