I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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