i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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