suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
