Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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