whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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