remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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