WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Someone shit on the floor
there's paper in my vomit.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
