i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry about my life...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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