I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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