I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
