I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
