Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
