I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
