It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
