Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
