so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
