You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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