shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
