She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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