The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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