I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
