I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
