Me too!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
