At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
