highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
