It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
