If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
