If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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